yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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