I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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