I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
