i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she smelled like a LAN party
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize