Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
