I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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