Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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