we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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