She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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