after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
