You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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