I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize