If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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