after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
