He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize