And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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