Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
