sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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