Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
