my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
