So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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