ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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