we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
