I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
