No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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