Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
