please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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