I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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