Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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