I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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