I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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