Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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