He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Houston, we have a blender
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What a dumb baby whore.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize