If i come over, it means nothing
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize