Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
