Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
