I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
