I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
operation have a gay friend backfired
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
third nipple confirmed
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize