47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
