Umm I'm too high to move.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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