Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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