I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
