I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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