That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
