so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
