Barsexuality is the new black.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
