I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
