the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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