my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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