I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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