i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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