gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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