Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
