problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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