So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
