hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
