Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You made out with two different species that night
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
