I think I died a long time ago.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
