my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
