i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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