you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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