Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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