This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
