It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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