All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
