Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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