This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
