oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
