she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
